My “Except-For” Diet

It is very true – permanent weight loss is not about eating or restrictions.  It is about changing long held, deeply ingrained not-helpful beliefs and habits.  A belief is a recurrent thought and the subsequent action becomes a habit.  And as I have mentioned before (and will again) thoughts are optional.  If you want to change your habits, you must change your thoughts first.

I self-sabotaged and suffered – for decades – thanks to my version of the “Except-For” diet.  You can call it what you like but in essence, the “Except-For” diet is self-sabotage in its best disguise.  You commit to ‘behave.’  You follow all your healthy eating rules…. You pass on the croutons, you dutifully munch on styrofoam rice cakes (I am so glad those are a thing of my past!), or choke back that nutrient dense dreadful tasting chalky consistency protein – kale – avocado oil enriched green smoothie.  Ummm… Yummm… <<Gasp>>  And then <<BOOM>> blindsided by the weekend or a birthday or anniversary or some convenient holiday….  And a munch-fest is born. 

Incidentally, weekends arrive quite predictably as do birthdays or anniversaries or holidays… or insert ‘reason – ur um… excuse’ to bend the rules.  So we cannot be blindsided by these things! 

I had a ready made justification for my “Except-For” munch-fests – I met with my trainer very consistently for years… “I worked out three times this week…” Then Saturday night – pizza – 3 (okay truthfully 4) slices… or just a few potato chips (translate into half a family sized bag…) just a couple of Almond Crunch Cookies (half a package)… <<SIGH>>

Given the financial considerations of retirement, I gave up my ready-made justification.  I was spending hundreds of dollars per month on strength training and self-sabotaging myself every step of the way…. A luxury I could no longer afford.  And not so unpredictably, I gained my hard-earned weight loss and lost my hard-earned strength! 

Yet another chapter in my yo-yo dieting saga, closed.

I am not sure when I equated thin with happy or successful or worthy.  But I am sure it was before I was 20.  Seriously?  For more than three decades, I chased this untruth?!?!  Seriously?!?!?

Frustrating as all the yo’s of my yo-yo dieting were, I would not understand the real truth behind my weight related challenges without them.  It’s not about the food.  It’s about how we think about ourselves and how we respond to those thoughts (often with eating.)  It is about managing our minds – managing our thoughts and emotions without food. 

Once we can unhinge eating from our emotions, and our weight from our self-worth…. Maintaining our weight after our weight loss journey is a done deal.  

Food freedom – so worth it!

Buff it up, my friends
Dr. Karen

Are you ready to Buff Up Your Brain? Ready to, lose weight and the brain fog?  Ready to polish up your thoughts? Let’s chat.

Strive to Thrive, Proactive Health

Up until very recently – like you, I expect – I believed prevention was the best medicine.  It is likely a safe assumption that few of us actively seek injury or disease.   But I recently read a functional medicine blog that compared preventive medicine to avoiding divorce in a marriage.  Both come from a place of scarcity. If I don’t get sick, I’m healthy. If we don’t divorce, we’re happy.  What a great analogy!  Certainly, prevention is a good start – absolutely we should do our best to avoid disease.  But proactive health is an infinitely better approach. 

We should strive to thrive.

Our health and well-being are much, much more than the absence of disease. 

Caring for yourself should not mean you get through the winter congested and coughing but still able to trudge through your daily grind. 

Caring for yourself should not be a non-GMO, new and improved chocolate covered chia seed granola bar for breakfast on the run. 

Caring for yourself should not mean you can walk up a flight of stairs if you must.

Caring for yourself should not be masking aches and pains with over-the-counter analgesics or popping antacids like candy. 

Yet, this is often our reality.

With strive to thrive proactive health, caring for yourself means you thrive with a vibrance and enthusiasm to embrace each and every day with a bring it on attitude.  How incredible would that be?

Caring for yourself includes a deep and refreshing 7-9 hour sleep nightly. 

Caring for yourself includes laughing until to cry and crying when you need to.  

Caring for yourself means you provide your body with adequate nutrition and sufficient exercise so that you can do what you want when you want well into your 90s and remember it! 

Our 21st century lifestyle is speeding uncontrollably towards an impending health crisis.  It’s a train wreck in the making.  We are bombarded daily with environmental toxins – exhaust, herbicides, preservatives and noise pollution.  Social media skews our perception that everyone else has life all figured out and that the world is on the brink of destruction.   Employers squeeze budgets and raise expectations while providing fewer resources.  We re-fuel with highly processed, high fat, high sugar, high salt, addictive non-satiating grab-n-go food stuffs.  Our butts are expanding as our daily commutes get longer.  It is no wonder unrelenting stress, anxiety and/or depression is the new societal norm and impending, unavoidable dementia has everyone terrified. Very sadly for the first time in recorded history, children – our future leaders – are predicted to have a shorter lifespan than their parents.  Shorter! So sad.

What can be done to avoid this impending health train wreck?

Fortunately, the human body has an amazing capacity for adapting to the onslaught of daily abuse society now accepts as ‘normal.’ Even more impressive is the human brain’s ability to decide to follow a different path. 

We can choose differently. 

We can eat real food.  We can move our bodies more than we sit.  We can stretch our joints and strengthen our muscles.  We can get adequate sleep.  We can increase our resilience and reframe our circumstances.  We can eliminate/avoid environmental toxins.  We can embrace rather than avoid our emotions. 

We can choose differently.  And choice is a precious gift not to be ignored.

Buff it up, my friends
Dr. Karen

Are you ready to Buff Up Your Brain? Ready to, lose weight and the brain fog?  Ready to polish up your thoughts? Let’s chat.

Never Too Old

“You are too old to not change.”

I was told that by a very wise and patient nutrition coach several years ago when I was commiserating about being on the wrong side of 50y to make another 180o career change. I was defending my position complaining that I don’t have time to ‘screw up’ my finances before I retire.  When I was ‘but a youngster’ I didn’t think twice about major changes.  Back to school at 27y, yep, no problem.  Need a PhD to pursue your dream at 31y, OK.  Tick.  Off to medical school at 35y…. Admittedly, a little hesitancy is starting to creep in… Move across the country twice during residency… Done.  When I reflect back on all that change, it’s no wonder I am feeling restless yet have a desire to stay put.

I now consider myself on the right side of 60y, though I am closer to 60y than I am to 50y. I often ask myself “How the hell did this happen?”  And if I am not careful I end up in a quagmire of self-pity, playing the ‘what-if-regret’ game, a self-sabotage game that has few – if any – benefits.  I still ‘think’ as I did at 27y, despite my aches and creaks. 

Some people celebrate turning 50y – the half century mark – while others utterly dread it.  I am not dreading turning 60y.  To be honest, I feel better now than I did at 50y (even 40y) having shed considerable extra weight, correcting numerous chronic health concerns and slowly shifting my mindset.  Why dread the change in decades?  Barring any unexpected incidents, you are going to turn 50y (and 60y and eventually 70y and hopefully 80y and thereafter 90y) anyway, so might as well celebrate.

Change can be challenging, even if you have never made a 180o career change, never relocated across the country, or have never gone back to school.   Time marches on as it always has and always will.  Involuntarily thrust upon us or by choice, change is inevitable. 

Change is inevitable – and that is a good thing.  How boring would life be if it always remained the same?

You can choose to think that the best part of your life is behind you, or you can choose otherwise.  Choose the latter… you never know where you may end up!

Buff it up, my friends
Dr. Karen

Are you ready to Buff Up Your Brain? Ready to, lose weight and the brain fog?  Ready to polish up your thoughts? Let’s chat.

Decisions, decisions and more decisions!

Have you ever played ping pong with your decisions?  Ponder, ponder, ponder… decide… no maybe…. Ponder, ponder, ponder…. Decide… Okay but… no…. ponder, ponder, ponder…  All right now we’re are getting somewhere…. Ponder, ponder, ponder…

Or even worse, after an unreasonably long ping pong match, have you reached a decision and your ‘gut instincts’ just twist into a knot with an unarticulated cringe.  But then you proceed anyway? 

No matter which side of the decision ping-pong table I ended up on, despite long and excruciating debate, I often found myself dissatisfied with my decision, irrespective of the consequences of my decision.  So I started defaulting to other people’s opinions.  Other people I considered more informed… very, VERY bad idea!

Soon after finishing residency, ready to relocate closer to my family, I went on a house hunting trip and explored homes.  After my usual ping-pong match, swayed by the real estate agent, I bought a lovely Century home….“You will never have trouble selling a century home….. great location close to the hospital…. nice big yard for the dog.”  I trusted her, not my instincts.  My heart sank almost immediately, but I proceeded.  

As always, life happens and an unexpected turn of events triggered a need for relocation a few years later.  She was wrong or she lied to make the sale (I am trying to believe the former!)  Not only did I lose considerable money, but it took over 2 years to sell.  Though I have since purchased another home which I love and where I wish to remain until I am no longer cognizant of where I live, it is unlikely I will trust a real estate agent again. 

Since that somewhat miserable experience, I make my own decisions for good or bad. I continue to seek advice, but now I listen for that unarticulated cringe and respond accordingly.  Even when the cringe seems completely crazy and counter-intuitive, I listen and listen carefully.

Being an academic, I actively searched for advice about making better decisions.  Now there is a rabbit hole with lots of diversions – WHOOSH!  I thought nutrition advice was confusing until I dabbled into the psychology of decision making. 

Some of the ideas I pulled from that particular rabbit hole…..

  1. You do not have to defend your decision to anyone except yourself.
  2. Have a plan to manage the inevitable “What have I done?” disaster scenario, because it will come (guaranteed) and haunt you, probably more than once.
  3. No matter what decision you make, make sure you are happy with the reason behind your decision.
  4. Limit the decisions you need to make routinely – develop intentional habits instead.  Don’t waste your ‘limited decision making energy’ choosing between 25 different brands of toothpaste – seriously does not matter.  Pick one, stick with it, move on.
  5. Whenever possible make decisions ahead of time, based on your values and priorities.  Schedule an appointment with yourself and honor that appointment as you would respect an appointment with a friend or colleague.  Consider how different your life would be if you followed through on the daily decisions we ‘skip’ in the moment.  We never feel like working out until we are actually 5 or 10 minutes into the workout.  Workout anyway. 
  6. Believe that every decision you have ever made was the right decision, regardless of the outcome.  No one intentionally makes a poor decision.  We always make the best decision possible with the information we have at the time of the decision.  Stop second guessing.
  7. Believe you will succeed irrespective of which side of the decision ping-pong table you land on.  Then which option would you choose?  Take a new job in a new city and be wildly happy.  Stay in current position and be wildly happy.  Being wildly happy is independent of the decision and your choice – always (how incredible is that?) 
  8. What would your future, successful self recommend?  This one is a bit tricky but incredibly helpful.  It’s the reverse of “What would you have told your younger self, given where you are now?”  The difference is, you cannot change what your younger self did, but you can influence your present self, based on what you believe your future self would recommend.  What a powerful thought experiment! 
  9. Believe in yourself and what you are capable of!
  10. Believe in yourself and what you are capable of… worth repeating!

We are happiest when we live in alignment with our values, priorities and our dreams.  Our decisions need to align with those values, priorities and dreams.  Everything else is non-essential. 

Listen for the unarticulated cringe – no matter how crazy and counter-intuitive. 

Buff it up, my friends
Dr. Karen

Are you ready to Buff Up Your Brain? Ready to, lose weight and the brain fog?  Ready to polish up your thoughts? Let’s chat.

Aging – Inevitables and most-likelies

Aging.  We all age.  If we are not aging, we are no longer living.  Sure, aging has some ‘inevitables’ – wrinkles and age spots, thinner skin, greying hair, visual changes, and hearing difficulties.  Aging also has some ‘most-likelies’ – decreased muscle mass (about 10% per decade in our senior years), decreased range of motion in our joints, balance challenges, slowed metabolism with subsequent weight gain and for women, some crazy hormone fluctuations.  

We can and most definitely should manage the ‘most likelies’ of aging.  We can strength train to counter or slow the rate of muscle loss.  We can start a daily stretching or yoga practice to keep our joints nimble.  We can work on our balance.  (Simply stand on one foot while watching television or reading, it’s harder than you might think.)  We can monitor our intake and choose a diet packed with unprocessed, nutrient dense whole foods.  We can get up off the couch and walk out and about the neighborhood – no need to run a marathon.   We can limit alcohol and refrain from smoking. 

These things – muscle loss, weight gain, decreased mobility are mere inconveniences relative to what really terrifies us…. dementia.  As we age we are turning to the marvels of medicine for therapy or cure.  I think we will be sadly disappointed, though we likely won’t recall our disappointment.  I guess that is a bit of a bonus. 

Some holistic and naturopathic doctors are referring to dementia as type 3 diabetes, implying there is an abnormality in glucose regulation contributing to our cognitive decline.  Given the rampant increase in obesity, type 2 diabetes and dementia in the past 50 years, since the low-fat, high carb indoctrination of the 70s and 80’s I would not be surprised if there is some causal relationship. Time will tell. 

Medical research will figure it out over the next 5 decades – maybe.   But it sure is a quagmire of conflicting evidence right now.   I can attest to significantly increased mental clarity over the past year with the elimination of refined sugar and flour from my diet.    And if elimination of refined sugar and flour is responsible for my increased clarity, sign me up!  If it might, even remotely, delay or eliminate the possibility of developing the non-Alzheimer-dementia that prevails in my family, I am all in!

One additional protective factor for aging well is connection.  The more social connection we maintain, the happier and healthier we remain, despite other detrimental health/lifestyle choices.  Social isolation is toxic.  Studies of citizens in the blue zones (pockets of the world with the longest longevity and the most centenarians) identified connection to family, friends, or community as a key determining factor in that longevity.  Loneliness/isolation is as bad for your health. 

Sitting, smoking alone drinking alcohol while snacking is on the avoid list!  Instead break a sweat once a day with a friend then share a homemade meal made with unprocessed whole foods while laughing wholeheartedly!

We do not have to fear aging.  Accept inevitables, but commit to minimizing the ‘most likelies’ as much as possible.  Shed some excess weight, don’t smoke, move more, strengthen and stretch your muscle and joints, drink moderately or less, keep connected to friends and family, eliminate sugar/flour and eat a diet containing nutrient dense whole foods.  Start today.  Don’t wait until your 7th decade.

Buff it up, my friends
Dr. Karen

Are you ready to Buff Up Your Brain? Ready to, lose weight and the brain fog?  Ready to polish up your thoughts? Let’s chat.

Novelty trumps safe and secure!

Why is it, there is a such a huge gap between what we say we want to do and what we actually do?

I am trying to effect change in my life.    In some areas I am progressing (writing – LOVE it!)  In other areas – not so much (decluttering.)  Some activities are hit and miss (cello practice.)  And in still others – precious little (exercise – SIGH!)  Yet these are all things that I ‘say’ I want to incorporate into my life and things I believe will help me build a vibrant and meaningful life. 

So…. What’s with the gap? 

It’s our brain…. It wants to keep us safe and secure… and change to the brain is lethal!

The brain is hard wired to do three things – seek pleasure, avoid pain and be efficient.   These things were all extremely useful to keep us alive ‘back in the day.’  Well brain, we are no longer ‘back in the day,’ living in a life-threatening, eat or be eaten environment….  Get with the program.  Seriously, keep up!

“No brain, it is okay, we are not going to die because I wish to exercise and stretch in the morning.” 

“No brain, it is okay, we do not need to eat until morning…. we are not going to die without an evening snack.” 

“No brain, learning something new is fun, not something that could potentially kill us!” 

That is my pre-frontal cortex (thinky-brain) chatting with my unconscious, primitive brain (lizard-brain.)  Thinky is the CEO part of my brain that can be intentional, make decisions, plan, organize, focus attention and delegate.  It’s the last bit that is problematic.  Thinky delegates the execution of a brilliant, intentional plan to Lizzy. 

Bad plan Thinky!  Lizzy’s mandate is to keep us alive in a hostile environment, and in the heat of the moment will follow the ‘change lethal/familiar safe,’ default and <<BOOM>> “No, that’s not how we do things! – plan aborted!

Thinky can cajole, persuade, and simplify and Lizzy nods and agrees and…. Just like Lucy with the football, pulls out at the last second and Charlie Brown ends up flat on his back…. Again!

Surely there is a solution.  We did after all, rise to the top of the evolutionary food chain! 

Perhaps the solution lies in our desire for novelty.  Novelty trumps safe and secure.  Otherwise, we would still be hiding out in damp, dark and cold caves, not temperature controlled luxury condos! Someone ‘back-in-the-day’ decided an upgrade was necessary and started a ripple, and many centuries later – Luxury condo!  (bet she didn’t see that comin’!)

How can we incorporate novelty into the changes we want to make?  Exercise – for example – bores me immensely!  I KNOW it is an activity that is really good for me and my future health and well-being.  But that does not make it less boring and it certainly does not make it novel!  

When I first starting exploring the idea – novelty is good for your brain – I was really disheartened.  I read a lot.  All kinds of non-fiction stuff – motivation, willpower, learning, perfectionism, mood, and brain neuroplasticity.  New, intriguing and useful info for me and my musings, but as it turns out, it’s NOT novel!  Reading is old hat for the brain.  I learned how to read decades ago!  Hmmmm…..

I did read that learning a new language or learning to play a musical instrument ‘counts’ as novel for the brain.  I tried learning French (I am Canadian after all) but nope, not interested. Perhaps because I took French throughout high school it is not novel.  So, I took up the cello, which I totally and thoroughly love!  I am three years into lessons and of late, practicing can be hit or miss.  Which makes me wonder if the novel bit is over?  Hmmm…. I wonder how long novel stays novel?  

I have yet to find a solution on ‘how to keep novel, novel.’  No doubt someone somewhere has already started a ripple….  I wonder where it will lead centuries from now?  What is the cold cave to luxury condo equivalent?  Hmmmm…..

In the meantime, I will endeavor to engage Thinky in the execution of plans and keep working on changing my unconscious defaults.  As much as I love Lizzy for keeping me safe and secure, the default is out of date.  Time for an upgrade Lizzy!

Buff it up, my friends
Dr Karen

Are you ready to Buff Up Your Brain? Ready to, lose weight and the brain fog?  Ready to polish up your thoughts? Let’s chat.

Thought Bridges and the Struggle Bus.

Exercise.  Bodily exertion for the sake of developing and maintaining fitness.  We should all do it.

I am trying to correct a deeply ingrained, inadvertently self-induced thought error about exercise.  A thought error – in the life coaching sense – is a belief that creates an unwanted desire and causes unwanted actions.  Or in my case, no desire and complete inaction. 

I used to exercise as part of my Eat Less, Move More weight loss journey.  For five years, I very consistently met with a personal trainer.  And quite predictably, I corrected some muscle imbalances, substantially increased my flexibility, got considerably stronger.  I even got to the point where I could cycle 50 miles around the countryside in one afternoon!  But most frustratingly, I lost precious few pounds.

But when I retired, I stopped exercising (mainly for the financial considerations associated with retirement – personal training is expensive.  And it seems, I only train with a trainer.)  And…. I regained 23 of the 15 pounds lost with working out/exercise.  Sadly, yet another rendition of my yo-yo dieting history!

My exercise ban was intentional.  I wanted to be able to attribute my weight loss success to the changes I made in my way of eating, not exercise.  I have.  It worked.  I am now 25 pounds less than my Eat Less, Move More weight loss final goal (which I never achieved) and still dropping.  No exercise. 

BOOM.  Proof – exercise is a waste of time and effort.  That is my thought error – exercise is a waste of time and effort.

That belief – exercise is a waste of time and effort – is simply not true!  Exercise is not a waste of time and effort.  It is a very effective health promoting tool!  It is just not effective for weight loss.  To change this deeply ingrained thought error, I must hop on the struggle bus. 

I love the idea of the struggle bus, a concept I was first introduced to by Kara Lowentheil of UnF*ckYour brain fame.  The struggle bus is her metaphor representing the experience of knowing you need to change a thought but are unable to… yet.  The struggle bus shuttles us from disbelief to belief across the river of misery – er… change.  The struggle bus allows us to struggle with our thought(s) while still getting closer to our destination.  It allows us to learn and explore and grow.  After all, struggling is just learning something new as we dare to step outside our comfort zone.

What does ‘on the struggle bus’ look like?  Probably exercising despite my brain’s belief exercise is a waste of time.  Hmmmm…. Okay brain, I know you think exercise is a waste of time. That is okay, but I am going to break a sweat anyway, three times a week. Or, sit my butt on the stationary bike and pedal for 15 minutes daily… Or stretch my legs and back for 10 minutes daily… Or all of the above.

And yet, several weeks later, no progress.  What gives?  I have identified my thought error and developed a replacement thought with a plan.  <<HARRUMPH>>.

I was complaining – er… discussing – this with a friend, and she quite brilliantly pointed out that I am changing the wrong thought.  My new thought ‘exercise is not a waste of time’ is not easily actionable, it’s philosophical.  If I wish to effect change, my new thought must prompt action.  And since our feelings prompt our actions, and our feelings are created by our thoughts, I need a thought that creates a feeling that prompts action to exercise. 

From my complaining… er discussion, my brilliant friend grabbed my thought “I only train with a trainer” and suggested that thought is the problem. 

Back on the struggle bus to shuttle me across the river of misery from disbelief to belief.  I need to build an actionable thought bridge. 

Bridge thoughts, like the struggle bus, are a very powerful concept that bridge the gap between never to always, via sometimes and often (or hate to love via meh and like, or black and white via several shades of grey – you get the gist of it I hope.) 

To change my thought ‘I only train with a trainer’ to some version of ‘I love training independently at home’ is actionable.  And the thought “I love to train independently at home” is much more motivating than “exercise is not a waste of time.” For me at least – time will tell no doubt!   

I only train with a trainer…It is possible I can train independently… I occasionally train independently… I often train independently… I consistently train independently… I love to train independently.  Thought bridge….

So, if you are struggling to change something – build an actionable thought bridge and jump on the struggle bus.  BOOM – progress.

Buff it up my friends,
Dr Karen

Want help building thought bridges? Email Let’s chat!

Nebulous fuzziness!

Weight loss is a terrible goal. 

Since this is a website/blog dedicated to helping women lose excess weight, you might be just a titch confused by that statement.  I have commented on this previously, in the tyranny of the bathroom scale and most recently in commitments and self-care. 

“Hanging your self-worth on failing to achieve some random number set by some ever changing poorly articulated stupid societal norm documented on an inaccurate and cheap bathroom scale, is just silly.”

I wholeheartedly believe that statement.  But still I was delighted, when my cheap bathroom scale dipped below the 150 mark for the first time this century!  What is going on?  Am I a hypocrite – saying one thing, believing another?  Perhaps, but I prefer to think of myself as a fallible human woman.  Such a better interpretation of the same circumstance! 

In the past year (after I changed tactics away from the Eat Less, Move More weight loss fallacy), I have been quite successful in my weight loss journey.  My very good friend and stretch therapist (whom I hold responsible for getting my frozen shoulder moving – she is amazing!) often comments about my loss of muscle tone/muscle mass since I abandoned strength training (almost 2 years ago now.)  Each week she lovingly prods me to start up again… “Just a little,” she implores.  It’s true.  I have lost muscle mass.  But not because I lost weight.  Because I stopped strength training.

My goal is no longer weight loss.  It is the mental clarity that this new way of eating has unveiled for me.  A brain fog, that I was not even aware of, lifted. 

Mental clarity is a nebulous, fuzzy sort of thing, I find difficult to articulate.  With this new way of eating, my overall mood is much improved but also difficult to articulate.  My inner critic has been silenced, which is unbelievable, utterly unexpected and difficult to articulate.   Nebulous fuzziness.  My cheap bathroom scale is a simple, convenient and impartial way to measure this nebulous fuzziness.

The trick is to use it – the cheap bathroom scale – as a tool to measure nebulous fuzziness, NOT self-worth.  Self-worth, is utterly independent of your weight.   Read that again.  Self-worth, is utterly independent of your weight.  There is nothing you can do to make yourself more worthy or less worthy. 

You are worthy, exactly as you are right now!  Full stop.  No further discussion required.

If you are not convinced about your worthiness, please purchase and read, every single book by Brene Brown – they are a must read! 

In her book Daring Greatly, she writes:

“Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness.  It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, ‘no matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.’ It’s going to bed at night thinking, ‘yes I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.”

“I am brave and worthy of love and belonging.” Such a great thought.  Definitely a bathroom mirror worthy post – it note!

So, yeah, I was delighted the cheap bathroom scale dipped below 150.  It’s a reflection of my nebulously fuzzy mental clarity, way better mood and silent inner critic! 

Buff it up my friends!
Dr Karen

Are you ready to Buff Up Your Brain? Ready to, lose weight and the brain fog?  Upgrade your thoughts. Let’s chat.

Be A Magnificent Peach

“Break the habit of being yourself….”  That is a Joe Dispenza-ism… He wrote a book by a similar title – Breaking the habit of being yourself.   I will add it to my growing list of ‘To Read’ books.  Since my stack is already about half a meter, and falling over – I must refrain for a little while. 

Is being yourself a habit?  That needs to be broken?  Perhaps. 

I am inclined to think we need to break the habit of being who we think other people want us to be. 

Be genuinely yourself.  Now there is a scary thought huh?  There is all sorts of literature that eludes to this sentiment from early day philosophers (James), impossible reads (Nietzsche), children books (Dr. Seuss) and hundreds of others in between.  The elusive quest to be ourselves is not new.

  • “Be yourself, everyone else is taken.” – Mike Robbins
  • “Know Thyself” – William James
  • “Live a life that is yours.  Do not seek the approval of others.  When you meet with friction or judgement, it’s a sign you are on your own path.”  – Brendon Burchard
  • “Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” – Steve Jobs
  • “Become who you already are.” – Nietzche
  • “Be who you are and say what you mean, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss

I love Brooke Castillo’s approach to this.  “I am a peach.  Some people don’t like peaches.  It’s not the peaches fault.”  So freeing right?  Reality is people are going to think their own thoughts and there is precious little you can do about it.  We have no control over what someone else is thinking, so there is no point in worrying about it. 

We do however, have complete control over our own thoughts.  We can choose our thoughts. 

You can choose how you want to show up in your own life.  You can choose to be a magnificent peach.   That will not change the fact that there will always be people that don’t like peaches.  It won’t matter if you are sweeter or less fuzzy.  Don’t pretend to be a nectarine or a plum.  You are a peach, magnificent or not, they don’t like peaches.   For all you know they don’t like nectarines or plums either.  When we show up as some non-peach version of ourselves, no one wins.  You don’t get to be you, and they don’t get to know you…. The genuine peachy you!

What will people think?  Such a dream killer question.  We are terrified ‘the-big-they’ will judge us.  Well, news flash – they already are or they don’t care! 

  • You worry ‘they’ will criticize you because you show up in running shoes and comfy yoga pants. 
  • You worry ‘they’ think you are too heavy.
  • You worry about ordering your favourite dish.
  • You worry about seeming extravagant if you buy a lovely Italian leather jacket.

Our thoughts about ‘other people’s opinion about us’ are optional. 

What if, it is okay for non-peach lovers to live their own life and have their own preferences?  Let it have nothing to do with you. 

What if you decide to show up in your own life as the true peach you are?  Decide your own opinion is the most important opinion.  It is okay to show up in running shoes and yoga pants with your extravagant Italian leather jacket. 

Other people’s opinions, are their concern not yours. 

Which brings us back to Dr. Suess…

“Be who you are and say what you mean, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

Be the magnificent peach that you are!

Buff it up, my friends
Dr. Karen

Are you ready to Buff Up Your Brain? Ready to, lose weight and the brain fog?  Upgrade your thoughts. Let’s chat.